Monday, May 01, 2006

How Did I Get Here? –
It’s interesting to contemplate sometimes how the Lord leads and guides our lives. Two years ago I was in a calling I considered the most important thing I had ever done, shaping young men into Aaronic Priesthood holders. It required weekly contact with ward members and lots of coordination. Then my father-in-law died, which caused me to re-evaluate a lot of things. I began to realize that my testimony was my most precious possession, and I immersed myself more in the scriptures to strengthen it.

Through a chain of events I am now in a stake calling that basically requires me to go to weeknight meetings a few times a month, and I’m in a ward calling that requires minimal contact with ward members. Because I sometimes have to visit other wards on Sundays, my stake calling gives me the freedom to visit other churches in the mornings and do my stake visits in the afternoons. Our long-time faithful home teacher was reassigned, and now we have a home teacher that comes sometimes, but is obviously just fulfilling an assignment. Our previous Elders Quorum president used to conduct home teaching interviews monthly, but our current one does so rarely.

If the Lord really wanted to keep me active in the church he has picked a funny way of doing it. My connections with my ward have been reduced to an absolute minimum, and I’ve been given the freedom to explore that I never would have had before. Much of my “support system” has been ripped away. I am much less busy than I was, so I have the time to read and ponder. I’ve had occasion to meet with the bishop a few times over administrative things, and he has yet to ask me any of “the right questions” that would bring my concerns out into the open.

I have prayed periodically for intervention if I’m on the wrong path, and as of yet no priesthood leader has ridden to the rescue. No one has shaken my hand, fixed me with a piercing stare, and led me into a classroom to ask me about my testimony. No new callings have shown up that would have caused me to have to lay out where I am right now. Nothing out of the ordinary has happened.

If we believe that there are no coincidences, what direction am I being led in?

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Somehow I stumbled onto your post, written in May. You say "I have prayed periodically for intervention if I’m on the wrong path, and as of yet no priesthood leader has ridden to the rescue. No one has shaken my hand, fixed me with a piercing stare, and led me into a classroom to ask me about my testimony. No new callings have shown up that would have caused me to have to lay out where I am right now. Nothing out of the ordinary has happened.

If we believe that there are no coincidences, what direction am I being led in?" (end of quote). Consider this perhaps an intervention, if not a Priesthood leader riding to the rescue (I have no horse, and I'm not a Priesthood leader. Merely a woman trying to find my way). But I feel the need to respond, because I'm wondering what direction you've taken in the past several months, and hoping that by now someone has noticed you, helped you, reminded you that yes it's all true, and yes, you are important, and yes, someday it's all going to make sense. I know it's true. I don't think it was a coincidence I happened upon your blog (because I really don't have a clue how to find blogs at all) and that I felt the need to respond. Your fork in the road does not have to take you into wild detours and endless forbidden paths. Your fork can once again become single pronged. The knowledge (yes knowledge) I have of life after death is real, and the fact that God lives and loves you is true. The fact that Joseph Smith saw what he said he saw is also true, no matter the disclaimers from so many who would pursuade you otherwise. My firm belief is that with faith and hope and enduring to the end, you will one day know as I know that the Gospel is true. Not everyone gets a piercing glance or a calling that boosts testimony or a home teacher who cares. Not everyone feels the Bishop's arm around his shoulder, or gets lead into a classroom to learn more of testimony at the exact moment he needs that assurance and witness. But everyone, everyone, has the same Savior, even Jesus Christ, who loves you with a love incomprehendable, who will never give up on you, and who understands your pain and confusion. Remember this: He will lead you along, and you will return one day to him, and he will hold you in his arms and say "Well done thou good and faithful servant." I know this. I hope you know it too, and I pray for you that you will find peace.
Sincerely,
A fellow traveler on the road

posted by ChristFollower | 4:21 AM | 0 comments

ChristFollower said...

Fellow traveler -
I would like to respond in detail to your comment, but I'm not sure you'll ever read it because you posted as "anonymous". blogspot doesn't seem to be so good about e-mail notification of replies. Let me know if you see this, and if so I'll reply to it. Or for that matter if anyone else stumbles on to it and would be interested in a reply.