The Road Taken --

I thought about titling this "Coming Out", "Kicking Over the Ant Hill", etc., but this seemed more classy.

I sent this e-mail to my bishop on Saturday. Here we go . . .

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Bishop X,

I currently find myself in a place I never expected to be, nor really sought out.

In summary, over the last year and a half of prayer, study of the scriptures, and study of church history, I have developed some serious problems with the foundational history of the church and the way it's presented, as well as with many of the foundational doctrines. It seems unlikely to me that I probably still qualify for a temple recommend.

It really hurts me to have to say this and to place this burden on your shoulders, but given that I hold positions of responsibility at both the ward and stake level, I have to be honest and up front with this.

I have no desire to leave the church or anything like that, but you have a right to know where I stand, and I have a need to quit hiding my concerns.

At this point we can proceed however you feel is most appropriate. Maybe this is sufficient to establish my situation in the ward. If necessary we can meet, or I can lay my concerns out via e-mail so you have something to forward to President Y if you so choose. I'm assuming he will need to be involved because of my stake calling. My emotions about this are extremely mixed, and I can probably express this better in writing, but that might not be the best use of your time. I can lay this out in whatever level of detail you're most comfortable with, as these are not pleasant subjects for anyone who has devoted the best of their adult lives to the church as we have.

One of my goals in this is to make this as easy for you as possible. I'm conscious of laying a burden on your shoulders, but I'm not sure what else to do at this point. It's time to get this out in the open.

Please let me know how you would like to proceed from here.

At this point Wife of Bath is fully aware of my concerns, but I have not shared them with [DS], [DD], or [DD’s husband]. One condition I would request is that I would like this to remain between us, President Y, and your counselors, until [DS] has left for school the middle of August. I don't want any hint of this coming out through the rumor mill. i.e. PEC, the high council meetings, etc., until he has left for college. At that point you can tell whoever you want. It would be unrealistic to expect it to remain a secret.

Thanks for your loving service to our ward,

CF